|Bear Grylls vs Soccer Dad|
1. Single-handedly get 4 boys out of bed, showered and fed at 4:30 in the morning while I walk about in my bathrobe, mumbling to myself and forcing my brain to remember how to work the coffee machine
2. Fill out 6 immigration forms in 2 minutes without once having to look up passport numbers and expiration dates
3. Squeeze 6 people and 12 luggage into a minivan made for 6 when the car rental company messes up our reservation and gives us a Kia Sedona instead of the Honda Odyssey we requested
4. Maintain his sanity while driving a car full of bickering children, a boy choking on a Mentos, a Soccer Mom scrambling over luggage to Heimlich choking boy, with a stereo playing Snoop Dog full blast
5. Listen to me ramble about makeup, the latest "it" bag, wedges vs stilettos and why George Clooney is the sexiest man alive --- senseless drivel in an effort to keep him from falling asleep while driving
6. Walk me through how to read a road map without once calling me stupid
7. Take a 45 minute detour so that we can visit a local ice cream parlor touting "Original, slow-churned, organic ice cream"
8. Watch me consume a bag of Cheetos, a Butterfinger bar, a King Size pack of Reese's peanut butter cups and a Big Gulp of Coke Light in the time it takes to drive from Chicago to Indianapolis, without making a single comment
9. Not say a word when the "quick side-trip to the outlet mall" turns into an all day excursion
10. Treat me like a queen and the boys like princes even through his stress and exhaustion... Cause if there's one thing Bear Grylls can't do - near perfect specimen of manhood that he is - is take care of me and the boys and love us just right
Happy Anniversary Soccer Dad! 20 years and counting. Still in love, still friends, still the one!